Teaching Assertiveness Skills 

Teach kids that being assertive means sticking up for yourself and telling someone to stop doing whatever mean thing they are saying or doing. Teach them that being assertive DOES NOT mean becoming aggressive and starting a fight.  Teach them being assertive DOES NOT mean screaming "shut-up!" at the other kid - in fact, this may make the bully happy because he was successful in getting the victim upset.  Here are some examples of teaching kids to be assertive in such situations:

"I’ve given you enough chances to stop this. If you do it again I’m reporting it."

"You are not getting it – I said enough already, OK!"

"That was kind of funny at first but now it's not - please stop it."

Children should be taught to use the above examples while maintaining neutral tone and body language.

Copyright 2002 by Tom Letson. All rights reserved.

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