Chapter 2

Thinking Offensively

Coach Lombardi showed me that by working hard and using my mind, I could overcome my weakness to the point where I could be one of the best. - Bart Starr NFL Quarterback

Football coaches quickly learn that the emotional makeup of players can determine what side of the ball they are more suited for playing. Offensive play, for example, requires players to maintain enough control over their emotions to properly execute a play after the snap of the ball. Thinking clearly after the snap requires more emotional control from the offensive players than their defensive counterparts. This can be difficult for offensive players due to the physical nature of the game, but this discipline is critical for offensive plays to be successful.;

Effective defensive play, on the other hand, depends on the reaction time of players immediately following the snap of the ball. Defensive players practice daily to improve reaction time to help overcome the natural tendency to think about where the ball is after it has been snapped. The thinking process takes valuable time away from the defensive player by physically slowing him down as he is thinking. If he tends to think too much he will react slower and the offense is more likely to gain yardage. A quick reaction helps the defender to get into a position that is most advantageous to preventing the play from gaining positive yards.

As a defensive coordinator, it was not uncommon for me to send certain players permanently over to the offensive team because of slow reaction time. These players proved that they tended to think too much after the snap and did not react instinctively. Since these attributes made them perfect candidates for offensive play, I began to refer to such players as "offensive thinkers." These offensive thinkers tended to have a personality that was more insightful and less emotional than "defensive thinkers", the players having the knack for lightening-quick reactions.

Offensive vs. Defensive Thinking

When the football theory of offensive and defensive thinking is applied to life, it helps us to easily understand how the way we think can contribute to having poor control of anger. Offensive thinkers in life tend to have the following characteristics:

It is easy to understand how such thinking can lead to less anger problems and subsequently less personal problems than defensive thinking.

Defensive thinkers are more likely to interfere with the solution of the problem by reacting before thinking clearly about the situation. Such thinking can lead to quick frustration, problem anger, and problems in communicating with others. The following lists emphasize the differences between offensive and defensive thinkers when faced with conflicts and problems:

Offensive Thinkers think clearly before acting 

Defensive Thinkers react before thinking clearly

Offensive Thinkers negotiate with others 

Defensive Thinkers attack others

Offensive Thinkers listen while others talk 

Defensive Thinkers plan an attack while others talk

Offensive Thinkers are reasonable 

Defensive Thinkers are emotional

Offensive Thinkers solve the problem 

Defensive Thinkers add to the problem

Offensive Thinkers own responsibility 

Defensive Thinkers seek to place blame

Offensive Thinkers fight fair 

Defensive Thinkersfight to win

Offensive Thinkers seek compromise 

Defensive Thinkers seek total victory

Offensive Thinkers win with grace 

Defensive Thinkers rub it in

Offensive Thinkers forgive and forget 

Defensive Thinkers resent and seek revenge

The Story of a Defensive Thinker

After returning from his night shift job each morning, Ron watches his two children for the day as his wife goes to work. One day after his wife returned from work and took over watching the children, Ron went to sleep as he normally does. On this particular day he was suddenly awaken by his two-year old daughter who was playing with a loud toy next to his bed. Ron immediately reacted and in a rage searched for his wife to vent his anger. He found her asleep on the couch and began screaming at her, waking her from sleep. Startled and frightened, she and their two children began crying hysterically, and Ron sought professional help the following day at his wife’s request.

In recalling this incident, Ron commented on what he was thinking as he was storming through the house in search of his wife. He was able to recall one thought, which is common for defensive thinkers: "I had been up working all night and watching the kids all day and she couldn’t keep them from waking me up for 5 lousy hours! That bitch!" By reacting, Ron lit the fuse to his anger explosion and caused unnecessary emotional harm to his family.

It is important to understand that Ron’s response was a reaction. He took action on his first thought before thinking clearly enough to reason that there may be more to the situation. Although his first thought may be expected given the situation, it was still a reaction and his assumption regarding this thought could not be proven without more information.

As it turned out, his wife unintentionally fell asleep, apparently exhausted from poor sleep during the previous few nights. Ron later stated that even if he had he known that his wife unintentionally fell asleep, he could not guarantee that he would have behaved differently. As noted, it is natural for defensive thinkers to have lighting-quick reactions without taking the time required to think clearly. Your answers to the following questions will help you to determine if you tend to a defensive thinker:

Defensive Thinking Test

Check all that apply:

__I usually get angry first and ask questions later.

__If someone has a problem with me, I take it personally.

__I usually never admit that I was wrong.

__I usually "go on the attack" with people who are very direct with me.

__I usually feel the need to "pay back" if I feel I was shown up.

__If someone is verbally attacking me, I’ll just lose it.

If you checked any of the above statements, you tend to think defensively and react to most of the problems in your life. You usually take action on the first thought that comes to your mind, even if it is unreasonable and cannot be proven without further information. These quick reactions are undoubtedly followed by bouts of problem anger, coming as quickly as a tornado and leaving a trail of damage.

Stop Reacting and Start Driving!

In football, taking any gain in yardage as a personal attack is critical to the success of the defense. By taking it personal, the defense is more determined to prevent the offense from driving for a score. In life, thinking defensively sets the table for quick anger reactions. When problems arise between people, immediate and open discussion is the quickest and surest remedy. To improve anger control and the way you communicate with others, it is helpful to begin thinking offensively when approaching problem situations. If you are a defensive thinker, go to the other side of the ball!

Facing problems in life becomes much easier by simply viewing yourself as an offensive player facing the task of moving the ball against a tough defense: by developing and executing a game plan in order to gain positive yards. By viewing problem solving as an offensive drive, the goal becomes getting as close as possible to completely solving it. By becoming an offensive thinker and driving toward solving your problems, you will:

When you begin viewing problems in life as a tough defense to drive and score against, it will become a challenge to develop a plan and put it into action. Just as reacting was characteristic of your defensive thinking, "driving" will be characteristic of your offensive thinking. Without driving toward a "score," problems will not be solved, with the potential become worse.

Offensive "Self-talk"

The first step to thinking offensively is to get in the practice of talking yourself out of reacting when faced with a problem. In football, daily practices help players to learn new skills by repetition, training them to perform as flawlessly as possible in the actual game. It is critical that you practice talking to yourself before dealing with a problem in order to reduce the chance of reacting with anger.

The following technique is designed for this purpose. Repeating the R.E.A.C.T. Reminder to yourself helps to prepare you to think clearly when approaching a problem situation:

R educe

E motions

A nd

C oncentrate on

T hinking!

This skill reminds you to talk to yourself to prevent yourself from reacting: "Do not react! Reduce emotions and concentrate on thinking." Making an effort to learn this simple skill will cut down on your anger reactions. Remember: YOu perform according to how well you are prepared! Do not lower your chances of maintaining control by not preparing yourself properly. Remember: You are preparing yourself to face the toughest opponent in your life: YOURSELF.

Post-Chapter Drill

Are you a defensive thinker? Take a minute and review some of the recent arguments you have had recently. Did you usually react first without really taking a few moments to think about what was happening, why it was happening, and what you could do to about it? Did you take it personally without good reason? Did you really listen to what others were saying, or were you to occupied planning a counter-attack? Were you able to accept your part in the problem? Did you criticizing others for things they have done to you in the past? Did you begin planning afterward about how to get them back? Now, take a deep breath and exhale. Guess what? Defensive thinking takes a lot of energy and creates more problems and stress. Do you need it? Become an offensive thinker and learn to relax!

Coaching Tip for Life

Things that do not come naturally always require

practice if you want to improve. This is one of

those "harsh realities" of life. Accept it and do it.

Go to Chapter 3:  4 Downs to Anger Control

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