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"Total" Ignoring vs. "Selective Ignoring"               

Try NEVER to totally ignore someone who is bullying or teasing you! (except when a kid is threatening to beat you up – if this is the case please ignore his or her words and get to an adult immediately to remain safe) Totally ignoring someone is pretending you do not hear him while he is speaking to you. This strategy is common but never works. Why? The bully knows the kid is purposely ignoring him because what he is saying or doing bothers him. So guess what? The bully is going to do it again and again and again – as long as the other child keeps pretending he cannot hear the bully. 

What do you do? Think of a good comeback line (not an insult), look the bully in the eyes and say the comeback line ("Who cares") and THEN begin to totally ignore the bully's words. This sends the bully the message that his words and actions DO NOT bother you (even if they do!). Make sure the comeback is appropriate:  no name calling or put-downs because this will make the bullying continue.

© 2001 by Tom Letson

Tom Letson MA LPC Private Practice

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